


The Line Between Safety and Danger

by justforirishx



Category: Offspring (TV), One Direction (Band)
Genre: Child Abuse, Cute, Death, Domestic Violence, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Graphic, Music, Non-Famous Liam, Physical Abuse, Protective Liam, Self-Harm, Sexual Content, Sweet Liam, Teacher Liam, Teacher-Student Relationship, Verbal Abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-05-23
Updated: 2017-12-10
Packaged: 2017-12-12 18:08:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 7
Words: 19,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/814464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justforirishx/pseuds/justforirishx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Liam works as a Music Teacher at a private girl's school in Melbourne, Australia.<br/>Luka LeNevez is the daughter of Australian actor Matt LeNevez. <br/>Liam figures out something isn't quite right in Luka's life and he tries his best to save her. <br/>Funny how hard it is to keep the line between safety and danger visible, especially once feelings are involved</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. New Life

I looked up at my timetable on the wall of my office at eight o’clock on the first day of school, Year 12 Music. I sighed and rubbed the back of my neck, I was a brand new teacher, first year out and thrown into an All Girls School. I’m only twenty-two and they’ve employed me as the Senior Music Teacher. This was going to be interesting, I had come out to Australia from Wolverhampton in England in my second year of teaching at university and loved it and stayed on and managed to get a job at one of the most prestigious Catholic Girls Schools in Melbourne – St Lucy’s College.

Once I got into my classroom which I was lucky enough to be the only teacher to be allowed to teach in it, I wrote my name on the board ready for the girls to come in and I began writing down questions I wanted them to answer. I heard the bell for the start of the first class and before I knew it the girls came filing in, talking loudly before they took their seats. Thankfully Senior Music is a small specialist course with only ten girls in my Year 12 Class.

“Hi ladies, my name is Mr Payne. I’m your new Music teacher,” I stated once I had their attention.  
“Sir are you English?” a girl in the back row asked.  
“Yes, I’m from Wolverhampton. Okay ladies, I’m going to do the roll now, you know the deal.”

“Samantha Allan”  
“Here.”  
“Natalie Brodie”  
“Here”  
“Hannah Cook.”  
“Here.”  
“Lucy Cure.”  
“Here.”  
“Anna Davies”  
“Here.  
“Jessica Grace”  
“Here”  
“Sarah Lance.”  
“Here.”  
“Luka Le Nevez.”  
There was no answer.  
“Do any of you know where Luka is?” I asked.  
“There’s no Luka Le Nevez in our year.” Natalie scoffed.  
“Well clearly there is because she’s on the roll. Okay um Nikki Stanley.” I asked frustrated at how rude Natalie was.  
“Here.”  
“Brodie Xavier.”  
“Here.”

“Okay so I want you all to take a page out of your notebooks and I want you to answer these questions I’ve written up on the board. This is my way of getting to know you better,” I told them.   
“Sir…” Jessica asked.  
“Drop the sir, just call me Mr Payne, sir makes me sound so old,” I laughed.  
“Mr Payne,” Jessica said. “Do you play any instruments?”  
“I actually play piano and a little bit of guitar but I mostly sing. Anyway ladies, answer those questions for me and then we’ll get started on the coursework for the term,” I replied as the girls set off to work.

1\. My name is:  
2\. My favourite Music:  
3\. Instruments I play:  
4\. Favourite element of the Music Course:  
5\. What I want to do with music after school:  
6\. Favourite musician:  
7\. If I could do anything with music it would be:  
8\. Favourite composer:  
9\. The reason I chose music for Senior was:  
10\. Three things I want to get out of Year 12 Music:

Five minutes into the girls answering the questions there was a knock on the door of the classroom. I walked over to the door and there was a short girl with dirty blonde hair and the brightest green eyes you have ever seen.   
“Um hi sir, I’m Luka. Sorry I’m late,” she said quietly.  
“No worries, come on in,” I smiled before I gestured to a desk in the middle of the classroom for her to sit at. As she sat down I pointed up to the questions on the board and told her to answer them on a separate piece of paper to give to me.

Once everyone had answered the questions and submitted their answers, I got on to discussing the coursework for the term and also the rest of the year and tried to get the girls excited for what was to come.

After the class was over and the girls filed out of the classroom, Luka was the only one left.  
“Mr Payne, I’m so sorry I was late. I’m new and had a bit of trouble finding my way here.”  
“It’s okay Luka, you found it eventually.”  
“I better get to my next class, it was nice to meet you. I’m really looking forward to your classes this year.” She smiled before she walked out the door.

There was something about Luka, she seemed different to the other girls in her class. They all seemed very conceited and only cared about themselves. None of them thanked me as they walked out the door except for Luka. All my practical placements had taken place at co-ed schools so dealing with girls in a single sex environment was certainly a change.

I made my way to my office to go through the papers that the girls had handed to me and to plan their next lesson. A lot of the answers the girls gave me were very general and what I would expect from seventeen and eighteen year old girls. I was quite interested by Luka’s answers.

1\. My name is: Luka Le Nevez  
2\. My favourite Music: I listen to a lot of alternative music but at the moment I love anything with a good acoustic guitar.  
3\. Instruments I play: I play piano and guitar and I take singing lessons but I don’t get much of a chance to practice at home.  
4\. Favourite element of the Music Course: I would love to explore the analysis element of the course  
5\. What I want to do with music after school: I would love to be a music journalist or a musician but I think with the amount I’m able to practice my music I have a feeling it will be the first option.  
6\. Favourite musician: This is an easy one – I am absolutely in love with Ed Sheeran. His use of the acoustic guitar and just the lyrics he uses in his songs take me to a different place and it’s as though he understands what I’m going through!  
7\. If I could do anything with music it would be: I would share my music and my story with the world.  
8\. Favourite composer: I do have a soft spot for a bit of Mozart but there’s nothing like a bit of Bach or Beethoven. Oh and I do love John William’s film scores!   
9\. The reason I chose music for Senior was: Music is my escape and it seems to be one of the things I do seem to be good at and that my Mum always wanted me to do and encouraged me to pursue as far as school subjects go.  
10\. Three things I want to get out of Year 12 Music: A greater knowledge of contemporary music, better my music theory and have a chance to reveal who I am through my music and my opinions of music

Luka  
Things had changed quite drastically in my life in the past six months – my Mum had passed away from cancer leaving me with my Dad – Matt who is a well known Australian actor. Dad and I were always close but once Mum passed away his personality changed completely. Dad seemed closer with the bottle rather than his own daughter now days. School was my escape because I could no longer use music as my escape. Dad refuses to let any reminder of Mum in the house – well our apartment now. We had moved from Sydney to Melbourne a week ago because of Dad’s work. I was quite reluctant to leave Sydney, that’s where all my friends are but Dad said we had to leave. So we up and moved and are now living in an apartment in Camberwell. To say Dad was angry and upset was an understatement… I’m sure the bruises on my body would prove that but there’s no way I’d ever let anyone know what Dad was doing to me in the middle of the night. No one needed to know how much of a monster my Dad had become.

I was never good at exposing myself to new situations and surroundings so my first day at St Lucy’s was a scary one to say the least. Although first period music with Mr Payne was certainly the highlight of my day. He was the nicest teacher I had on my timetable and he seemed genuinely excited to be teaching and had such a knowledge of both music in general and the music curriculum. The girls in my year were a different story, thankfully no one had connected the dots as to who my Dad is… yet but I discovered popularity in my grade is based on what your parents do for a living and how much money they earn and what car Daddy was buying for their eighteenth birthday. I spent my first lunchtime in the music practice room at the piano doing some song writing. 

I love making music, it was something that used to make my Dad proud. He wanted me to become famous but once Mum passed away Dad refused to even let me go near the family piano and he even threw out my electronic keyboard in our move. My guitar hasn’t been touched in six months in fear of Dad smashing it in a drunken rage. Music was my release but I’ve been bottling up all my feelings of Mum passing away for six months and I feel like I’m about to explode!


	2. 2: Is Everything Okay?

By the end of my first week at St Lucy’s, I had managed to learn maybe 75% of my students’ names and from the questions I got them to answer I had worked out how to structure my lessons. My year 12 music class was certainly full of interesting personalities and some very talented musicians.

 

The second week on the Monday morning I had Year 12 music first and I was greeted with my whole class minus Luka who had been late to every first period class I had her for the week before. She was very quiet and when I went to put the girls into pairs she always insisted on working on her own. My concern for her started on the Monday morning when I saw that her jumper sleeve was rolled up and I could see cuts on her left wrist as she was writing answers to a task I had given the class.

Our topic for the term was Music Analysis and each student had to analyse music by a band or musician of their choice from the 90s and 2000 eras and compare their music from their beginnings to now for their major assessment piece in any medium they liked. At the end of the class, Luka was the last one to leave so I decided to ask if she was alright.  
  
“Hey Luka, how did you find the work today?” I asked.  
“Fine, Mr Payne.”  
“Have you chosen who you are analysing for your assignment yet?”  
“I have an idea but I’m not too sure yet.”  
“Luka, is everything okay? You seemed a little distracted in class.”  
“I’m fine Mr Payne, don’t worry about little old me,” she replied with a sigh before she walked out the door.

 

I knew something definitely wasn’t right. By asking if Luka was okay, I knew I was opening up the lines of communication but it was up to her to seek out the help.  
  
I went up to the staff room and decided to make myself a strong cup of coffee and sit and relax for the half hour break I had before my year ten class. One of the junior music teachers – Mrs Kendall came and sat at the same table as me and asked how my first week had been.  
  
“Better than I expected, the year 12 group are such a talented group of kids. I think they could go a long way this year.”  
“We have always had high expectations for those girls, they are the best of the best.”  
“Hey who do I talk to if there is a student I am concerned about?”  
“Concerned how Liam?”  
“I’m concerned about their welfare. I noticed something in class is all.”  
“Well write it down in your diary and talk to their year co-ordinator. Keep track of anything you notice. You may need to contact child safety if things get worse.”  
“Okay thanks,” I smiled.  
We continued to talk about how my first week was and she offered me a few tips. After five minutes, I got up and made my way down to my classroom to make sure I had everything prepared and made sure I wrote down what I saw from my morning class.

 

 Later in the day, I passed Luka as I walked to the staff room at lunch time. She was sitting by herself with her headphones in her ears. I sat beside her and she looked at me with a smile before taking the headphones out of her ears.  
“What are you listening to?” I asked.  
“Jeff Buckley,” she replied.  
“I love his stuff, it’s very soulful and heartfelt. So how are you finding things here?” I asked curiously.  
“It’s definitely different to my last school, the girls are seriously bitchy but I’m sure I’ll learn to cope. After all, there’s only nine months to get through.”  
“So what’s your story?” I asked. “Why did you move in your last year of school?”  
‘Um, my Mum died six months ago and my Dad needed to move here for work so here I am,” she smiled sadly, fiddling with the cord of her headphones as she spoke.  
“I’m sorry about your Mum.”  
“Thanks, I wish she was still around at the moment. My Dad isn’t coping very well at all, despite what he says.”  
“Well if you ever need someone to talk to Luka, you know where to find me.”  
“Thanks Mr Payne. I appreciate it. “  
“It’s fine. I’m happy to help where I can. Anyway, I’m starving so I’m going to go and get some lunch. See you in class tomorrow hey?”  
“Yep, I can’t wait. I love your class. Music and English are my favourite here.”  
“Who have you got for English?”  
“Mr Barry, he knows his stuff that’s for sure.”  
“I’ve heard he is a favourite. He’s a nice guy,” I replied as I got up from the ground. “Anyway, you know where to find me if you need an ear. See you.”  
“Bye Mr Payne,” she smiled at me before I walked away.   
  
So, I knew a little more about Luka now, her Mum had passed away six months ago That would be enough to impact even the coldest person and the fact her Dad wasn’t coping was another alarm bell.

 

 **Luka**  
I quite enjoyed spending my lunchtimes listening to music and watching life pass me by. At my old school on the days where my friends were bitching about stupid shit that seemed so petty in the real scheme of things, I used to escape to my favourite quiet spot in the school and turn on my music.

 

Mr Payne seemed to be genuinely interested in me and showed that he cared which is more than I can say for any other teacher I’ve had. I had to admit to myself he was incredibly handsome and he had to be at least twenty-five. I had turned eighteen in January to not much fanfare at all, not that it really meant all that much to me. I didn’t have friends to go out with on weekends.

 

Once I heard the bell go, I made my way to my double English class with Mr Barry, one of my other favourite teachers at St. Lucy’s. He was quite handsome as well, but he seemed a bit older but he had a perchance for skinny brown chinos and well-made collared shirts particularly of the blue variety. A few of the girls in the class jokingly called him Peter Rabbit because of his outfit choice. Year 12 English was going to be interesting, particularly this first term. We were exploring short story and radio play writing. Our task was to set either a story or radio play to famous poems or songs and invent the narrative to go with the songs.   
I made my way into the classroom, removing my brown blazer and putting it on the chair behind me, leaving me in my brown and white stripped dress. There was definitely nothing appealing about the school uniform that’s for sure, the good old Catholics, always making sure we weren’t showing ourselves off to the boys.  I took out my notebook and waited patiently for class to start. Mr Barry walked in wearing his trademark brown chinos but this time a pink shirt. He definitely stood out amongst the foul brown and white dresses.  
  
“Good afternoon Year 12. Today I’m going to be writing down what poems or songs you are doing for your assessment and you’ll be able to start writing today. I’ll call you up one at a time, feel free to get started while I’m seeing other people,” he stated with a smile. “Luka, you can be first cab off the rank.”  
Fuck, I thought to myself, I had ideas but nothing solid yet. Maybe this might be the perfect time to get a few ideas of Mr Barry.  
I went over to Mr Barry and took a seat next to his desk.  
“So what are you thinking Luka?”  
“Well I’ve got a few ideas but I haven’t completely decided yet.”  
“That’s fine, what are your ideas?”  
“Well,  I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For by U2 and Breathe Me by Sia are the two main ones I really think I could do well with.”  
“Radio Play or Story?”  
“Probably a story, one about finding the main character’s identity despite traumatic hardships.”  
“I like it, sounds like you do actually know what you want to do Luka. Go with your gut instinct, that’s my tip for Year 12. Whatever you think is going to work, just go for it. I got your file from your last school yesterday and it seems you’ve got quite the knack for the English language.”  
“Not really sir, I just really enjoy writing and analysing.”  
“Well I look forward to reading your draft,” he smiled.  
  
I got up and made my way back to my desk and took out my iPod and headphones and put the two songs I had planned to do on repeat. I had been a fan of U2 since forever. My Dad always used to listen to their stuff and he even got to meet Bono once! I only recently discovered Sia’s music and I love her old stuff more than her new songs. It’s a lot more soulful and relatable especially for me at the moment.

 

Two hours later, I had already developed the plan for my story and figured out how I was going to integrate the songs into my story be it through lyrics or general themes. Once the bell went and we were dismissed, I made my way to my locker and signed out for the day. As I walked down the driveway, I spotted Mr Payne walking out with his laptop bag over his shoulder.  
“Hi Sir,” I said as I walked beside him.  
“Hi Luka, seriously drop the Sir. Being called Mr Payne is bad enough. I seriously wish you guys were allowed to call me by my first name. Twenty-two is way too young to be called Mr Payne! How was your day?”  
“Yeah good, finished with a bit of double English and managed to plan my assignment in the two hours so that’s good.”  
“What’s your assessment?”  
“We have to use two songs or poems for inspiration for a story or radio play and you have to include elements of them within it.”  
“What did you pick?”  
“I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking for by U2 and Breathe Me by Sia.”  
“Oh nice choices, I love U2. They are such a classic.”  
“They sure are. So, what are you up to this afternoon? You’re escaping the prison early,” I joked.  
“I’m taking work home, I just had a long day and want to get home and relax for a bit,” he chuckled.  
“No judgement here Mr Payne, anyway I better get a move on. I need to get home before Dad does and get dinner ready. Bye!” I said.  
“See you Luka,” he smiled before I walked off down to my car around the corner from school.  
  
Dad had been out at work since before I woke up this morning so hopefully he would be somewhat sober by the time he got home. The shoot days for Offspring seemed to be pretty long. Once I pulled into the carpark for our apartment, I saw Dad’s car was still gone and I breathed a sigh of relief. I made my way inside and went straight into my room to shower and change into a pair of shorts and my favourite baggy t-shirt so I could knuckle down for study.   
  
I went into the kitchen and made sure everything was tidy enough for Dad when he walked in the door and grabbed a couple of Oreos from the cupboard and a glass of milk and went back into my room and set myself up at my desk, ready for an afternoon full of school work.

 

As I was beginning to type out my English assessment, I heard Dad walk into the apartment and the clutter of his keys on the kitchen bench.  
“Luke, are you home?” he called out.  
“In my room Dad!” I called out  
I heard footsteps come towards my door and heard the door open. My Dad stood in the doorway with a smile on his face. He looked sober and relaxed. The most relaxed I had seen him in a while.  
“Hey Luka. How was your day?”  
“Yeah fine thanks Dad. How was work?”  
“It was good, just rehearsals today and photoshoots. Do you want to go out and grab dinner tonight?” he asked.  
“I’ve got lots of assignments to do Dad. Can we get takeaway?”  
“Sure sweetheart. What do you feel like?”  
“Thai?” I asked.  
“I’ll go and grab a menu. Do you want a hand with anything for school?”  
“No thanks Dad.”  
“Are you fitting in alright?” he asked coming into my room and sitting on the edge of my bed.  
I turned around in my desk chair to face him and looked at him sadly.  
“Not really Dad, the girls are bitches. I miss my friends.”  
“Give it time baby, you’ll find your place. What are your teachers like?”  
“I really like my English and Music teachers. They are very encouraging. I think I chose decent subjects.”  
“What did you pick again?” he asked.  
“English, General Maths, Music, Study of Religion, Modern History and Film and Television.”  
“What’s Film and TV like?”  
“It’s a bit of a bludge, I’m kind of wishing I picked Drama instead but it’s too late to change and Drama is full.”  
“Oh well, if it’s easy then there aren’t any excuses not to get good marks hey?” he replied.  
“Yes Dad,” I sighed.  
“Listen, I’m sorry about the other night. I should never have laid a hand on you.”  
“Dad, there’s no excuses. You really need to stop drinking, you aren’t a nice drunk. The other night wasn’t the first time either Dad. You’ve done it a few times before but you’ve been too drunk to remember the next day.”  
“I know baby. I just… I miss your Mum and I don’t know how else to deal with it.”  
“Talk to someone Dad! There are so many psychologists around that would be happy to help. But you can’t take it out on me. I’m suffering too!” I exclaimed. “How do you think it feels not having anyone to turn to and a Dad who beats the shit out of you? We used to be as thick as thieves Dad and now I am scared to be in the same fucking room!”  
“Luka, I am so incredibly sorry. I’ll do anything to keep you safe and to make it up to you.”  
“Right now Dad, I just want you to get help. Can you please go? I need to keep going with my assignments.”  
“Sure, I’m out in the lounge room if you need me.”

 

Dad got up and walked over to me and kissed the top of my head before walking out of my bedroom. The whole time he was in my room, my heart was racing and my hands were shaking.  My anxiety was through the roof but I somehow managed to keep myself together. Now to see if Dad really would change.


	3. 3. Cracks

Luka

An hour later, Dad knocked on my bedroom door to tell me that dinner had arrived and to come out and grab something to eat. I followed him back into the kitchen and sat down at the breakfast bar while Dad served me up some Pad Thai. I smiled fondly at him as he served it up, humming some tune under his breath. 

“You’re happy Dad,” I said quietly.  
“I just had a good day is all. So, this school. If you’re not happy there Luke, I can move you.”  
“It’s okay Dad. I can’t afford to move again, it’s Year 12, and I just need to get through the next twelve months as seamlessly as possible. The school isn’t bad; the girls are just bitches. I’m sure it would be the same at any other school.”  
“Well if you change your mine Luke, just let me know okay?”  
“Sure Dad.”  
“Listen, this weekend, have you got anything on?”  
“Dad, I’ve got no friends yet. Why? What were you thinking?”  
“Well, why don’t we go out on the town together? We haven’t done anything for your eighteenth yet, and I’ll invite some of the people from work.”  
“I don’t know if that’s a good idea Dad.”  
“I’ll be able to keep myself in check Luke. It’ll be fine.”  
“Can I see how my week finishes up? I’ll try and get as much of my school work done as I can.”  
“Yeah sure.”  
“Can you grab me a Diet Coke please?”

Dad and I sat and ate dinner in silence, looking at each other now and then. I missed the old Dad. The one who would sit up with me at night and help me with school work, help me with boy problems, take me out for ice cream in the middle of the night, the one that I could curl up next to at night after a nightmare and know everything was okay. Now I was anxious about him blowing up at a moment’s notice and being in the same room as him. 

“Thanks for dinner Dad. I need to get back to this English assignment.”  
“Alright, Luka. Let me know if you need a hand with anything,” he smiled as I got up to go back to my room. I grabbed another can of Diet Coke from the fridge and scampered back to my room and shut the door.

 

A couple of hours later after finishing my English homework and making sure I was ready for class the next day, I was ready for bed. I figured Dad had already gone to bed as I hadn’t heard anything from him since dinner. As I curled up in bed, I put my headphones on and turned on my ever reliable sleeping music and fell straight to sleep.

 

The next morning, I woke up to the sound of my alarm at 6 am. As I walked to the bathroom for a shower, I looked out into the lounge room and saw Dad asleep on the couch, snoring away. A bottle of whisky on the floor next to him. I sighed and headed into the bathroom.

Once I was ready to head off to school, I poured a glass of water for Dad and got him two Panadol tablets and put them on the coffee table beside the couch and kissed his forehead. I picked up the whisky bottle and put it back in Dad’s alcohol cupboard.

As I walked out the door, I put my headphones on and decided to drown out my thoughts before school started. Once I got to school, I emptied the contents of my bag into my locker and looked at my timetable for the day.

8:30 am – Home Room  
8.45am – English

9.45am- Film & TV

10.45am – Lunch

11.30am – Study of Religion  
12.30pm- Music

1.30pm – Lunch

2.15pm – Spare

3.15pm – End of the day

The best part about St Lucy’s was if you have a spare period at the end of the day you’re allowed to go home early. Although with everything that is going on with Dad at the moment, home is the last place I want to be I decided to see how my day went before I decided to go home early

After the hectic bustle of homeroom, I made my way to English. I found my usual seat towards the front of the room. Mr Barry was sitting at his desk, today dressed in a pair of black chinos and a white collared shirt. He looked exceptionally handsome today. I chuckled to myself before I opened my laptop to continue my English assessment.

While I was typing, I felt the presence of someone looking over my shoulder. I looked to see Mr Barry standing behind me.  
“Wow Luka, you’ve written heaps!”  
“I’m kind of on a roll. Do you want to have a read?”  
“Can I have your plan, I need to see it just to tick it off.”  
“Yeah sure, I’ll email it to you now.”

The rest of the morning passed without much fuss. At lunch, I finally got a chance to look at my phone, and I saw a message from Dad.

From: Dad  
Thanks for the Panadol baby.  
I’m sorry you found me like that again.  
Hope you’re having a good day  
x Dad.

I sighed and decided to ignore the text. I would deal with Dad when I got home. I scrolled mindlessly through Facebook trying to pass the time. To be honest, I was looking forward to Music with Mr Payne. He always made learning so interesting, and he talked to us like adults and didn’t baby us. Mr Barry did similar, but I think because Mr Payne was younger he was easier to connect with.

By the time Music class rolled around, I was lined up outside the door with the rest of my class who were all talking amongst each other. Then all of a sudden Natalie who was pretty much Queen Bee of our year piped up.

“Luka, is it true your Dad is an actor?” she asked.  
“Umm, yeah,” I said quietly.  
“Well, he mustn’t be that good cause I’ve never heard of him.”  
“It’s none of your business actually what my Dad does. At least I don’t go around flaunting everything I have in front of everyone.”  
“No, you’re just a snob. You think you’re better than the rest of us, that’s why you haven’t said a word to anyone in the last week. Why don’t you just go back to where you came from?”  
I had dealt with my fair share of bitches at my last school, at this point in time, Natalie was the least of my worries, but it still didn’t stop it hurting any less.  
“You know what Natalie, I’m not scared of you. All I want to do is see out the next twelve months, get my VCE and move on. Leave my Dad and me out of it. Mind your own business and just leave me the fuck alone!” I exclaimed, tears starting to sting the edge of my eyes. Just as I had said that Mr Payne opened the door and everyone, including Natalie, filed in. I stood there stunned at what I had just said and the fact Mr Payne had heard me go off.  

“Luka? Are you okay?”  
“F…fine Mr Payne. Sorry.”  
“It’s fine Luka; we’ll talk about it after class hey?”  
“Okay,” I smiled sadly. 

I went into the room and took my seat up the back of the room and just knuckled down and got the work done. I could hear Natalie whispering to her friends towards the front of the room and looking back at me now and then. I tried to ignore her as best I could, but my self-esteem got the better of me. So I decided to stand up for myself.

“What’s your problem, Natalie?” I asked.  
“Who me?” she said pretending to be innocent.  
“Yes, you! Stop turning around and looking at me and whispering about me behind my back!” I said getting up and walking towards her – Natalie had now gotten out of her seat too.  
“Luka, calm down.” Mr Payne said, standing between the two of us.  
“No I’m sorry Mr Payne, but I’m not going to put up with Natalie talking about me behind my back. I’ve done absolutely nothing to her to make her do this!” I exclaimed, now beginning to feel tears sting my eyes.  
“Right, Luka, you need to go for a walk, go and get a drink and come back. Natalie, you can spend your lunch time in detention. You know the school policy on bullying. It might give you time to ponder your actions.”  
“But…” Natalie stuttered.  
“No, there’s no excuses for that behaviour.”

I followed Mr Payne’s instructions and went out for a drink and a walk to clear my head. I shouldn’t let her get to me, but I can’t stand when people talk about me behind my back. I took my time going to get a drink, I quite liked walking through the school when everyone was in class, made it feel like a ghost town.

I splashed my face at the bubblers and took a deep breath to compose myself. I could feel my hands shaking and my anxiety kicking in, which it hadn’t for a while, in large thanks to my medication but moments like this made it heightened. I took a few deeper breaths to relax then made my way back to class. When I opened the door, I looked down at the floor and just made my way quietly back to my desk. I heard Natalie scoff as I walked past her but chose to ignore her.

The rest of the class went smoothly, I kept my head down and finished my work to try and avoid any issues. When the bell went, everyone filed out of the class pretty quickly. Mr Payne stopped me as I went to walk out the door, with a hand on my shoulder.

I sighed and looked at him sadly. I followed him over to his desk and pulled up a seat.  
“Luka…”  
“I know, I shouldn’t have overreacted like that. I just can’t stand people talking about me behind my back, let alone in front of me.”  
“That wasn’t the first time today though. I know Natalie’s type, trust me. I went to school with so many of them. They’re not worth it. Luka, you seem like you’ve got your head screwed on pretty well, don’t fall for their BS, it is honestly not worth it at all!”  
“It’s just not fair Mr Payne. I’m just trying to get through the day; even that feels hard.”  
“Have you got anyone you can talk to?”  
“No, my Dad and I haven’t talked about it.”  
“You’re eighteen now; you don’t need your Dad’s permission to go and see someone.”  
“You don’t understand Mr Payne. It’s fine. Thanks anyway. I need to get home. I have spare after lunch, so I’m just going to go now.”  
“Luka, you know you can talk to me if you need.”  
“I appreciate it Mr Payne, but you don’t need to hear the shit that goes on in my life. Thanks anyway though.” I replied before I got up and walked out the door, turning as I walked to see Mr Payne standing in the door frame sadly.

I went to my locker and grabbed out what I needed to do homework and stuffed it into my backpack before signing out to walk home. On the way home, I blasted my music loudly, just wanting to drown out the day’s events. While I was a fan of old school rock and acoustic music, I did have quite the soft spot for the Jonas Brothers, in particular, Nick Jonas. I decided to blast his first solo album through my headphones on my way home.

When I walked in the door, I dumped my bag and went into the kitchen to find Dad sitting at his laptop.  
“You’re home early,” Dad said looking up from his laptop.  
“I had spare this afternoon, so I was allowed to leave early.”  
“Are you alright Luka?”  
“Forget it, Dad. I’ve got stuff to do.”  
“Luke,”  
“Dad, I’m not in the mood,” I replied turning around and heading to my bedroom.

I slammed my bedroom door, quickly changed into a pair of track pants and an old baggy t-shirt, connected my iPod to my speakers, turned my music up and curled up in bed and just burst into tears.  I sobbed quietly to myself until I fell asleep. When I woke up, it was dark outside, and my music had been turned off. Dad was sitting on the floor beside my bed with his head in his hands, and I could smell rum.

“Dad?” I asked sitting up.  
“Luke, talk to me, baby.”  
“What are you doing in here?”  
“I wanted to talk to you, I came in to talk, and you were crying in your sleep. I thought maybe we could talk about everything.”  
“Dad, I can smell the rum on you. I don’t want to talk while you’re drunk. Get out.” I said, my voice starting to wobble, tears threatening to fall  
“Lu…”  
“GET THE FUCK OUT!” I exclaimed as tears began to fall down my cheek. 

Dad got up and left the room, leaving the door ajar as he walked out. I groaned in frustration and got up and grabbed my iPod and my headphones, my phone, keys and wallet and put a pair of sneakers and a hoodie on and made my way quickly out the door. I heard Dad call out after me as I walked out but I turned on my music, drowning him out and I stepped out into the freezing Melbourne air. 

I didn’t know where I was walking to, I wandered down my street and kicked the sticks I found along the pathway. It didn’t take long, and I stumbled upon a deserted playground. There wasn’t anyone around, so I sat on the swing and let myself relax and listen to the music. 

After a while I decided to get up and keep walking, this time making my way towards the main road. The flurry of lights and the sound of trams was intoxicating. I love being outside at night along the main road. I used to go wandering in Sydney sometimes. Sometimes looking for inspiration for my music, other times just wanting an escape, especially when my Mum was sick.

My phone had buzzed a few times, and I knew it was Dad telling me to come home, I deleted the notifications and continued my walk. I decided to take my headphones off for a while and take in the sounds around me, plus I was always aware of the creeps around at this time of night. As I walked, there were the occasional honks of car horns, when suddenly a car pulled up beside me, in the dark I couldn’t tell what kind of car it was. My instincts were to run but when the person called out my name I thought it was Dad.  
“Luka!” the person said again from the rolled down windows, it didn’t sound like Dad, the voice had an English accent.  
I looked to see who it was and I saw Mr Payne smiling at me.  
“Hop in Luka; I’ll give you a lift.”  
“I don’t want to go home,” I said leaning into the window.  
“Well, we’ll go for a drive and talk. Come on Luka; I’d rather you weren’t wandering the streets on your own.”


	4. 4. Protection

I sighed and decided to get in. Mr Payne smiled and once I got in he wound up the window.  
I looked around the car, impressed with the leather interior and the sound system which was playing Kings of Leon.   
“So, Luka. What are you wandering the streets of Melbourne this late at night for?” he asked as he pulled out back into the traffic.  
“I had a fight with Dad and just needed to get out of the house,” I sighed as I looked out the window, avoiding Mr Payne’s gaze.   
“Luka, what’s going on with you and your Dad?”  
“If I tell you then you have to tell Child Safety, my Dad isn’t a bad guy. He’s just struggling is all,” I said quietly, still looking out the window.  
“It doesn’t mean you have to suffer too Luka.”  
“My Mum died from cancer six months ago like I said the other day. Dad hasn’t taken it so well and has decided to take up drinking which has turned him into an unfortunate asshole.”  
“What kind of unfortunate asshole?” he asked.  
“The type of unfortunate asshole who talks with his fists and then passes out on the couch,” I replied quietly, starting to feel tears in my eyes.  
“Luka, I’m so sorry.”  
“Mr Payne it’s really fine. I can handle him. He apologised, he hasn’t done it since but I’m now scared to be in the same room.”  
“Luka, stop the Mr Payne. It’s Liam. Seriously.”  
“I… I can’t call you Liam.”  
“You can, it’s fine. Luka, do you want to crash at mine for the night? I’ve got a spare room. If your Dad’s been drinking and you had a fight, maybe it’s a good idea. It’s better than letting you walk around the streets at night. I know I would sleep better knowing you were safe.”  
“You’re my teacher…”  
“I’m not asking you to sleep with me Luka, I just want to make sure you’re safe. You don’t have to sleep if you don’t want to. I’ve got a massive DVD collection you can watch and you can just chill out.”  
“I…”  
“Please?”  
I sighed and turned to look him in the eye, “Okay.”  
“Are you hungry?”  
“Just a bit.”  
“McDonalds?”  
“Yes please.”

Liam drove us in silence to the nearest McDonalds drive through. Liam ordered himself a Big Mac meal and I ordered a cheese burger meal. Once we got our meals, Liam drove us in the direction of his apartment which was back the way we came. Eventually we pulled up outside a group of townhouses and I followed Liam to the one that was his. His lounge room was impressive, he had a massive TV and a bookshelf filled with DVDs and PlayStation games, a few recliner seats and a three-seater couch. Joined onto the lounge room was a simple kitchen and a dining room table. Liam put our meals down on the table and we sat there eating in silence. Once we finished eating we made our way over to the TV and Liam told me to pick a movie from his collection. I noticed he had a heap of Disney movies, I would never have suspected that. I found my all time favourite movie – Lion King 2 and showed Liam who nodded happily and took it from me to put into the PlayStation.  
“I would never have taken you as the type to like Disney Mr Payne.”  
“Seriously Luka, it’s Liam. Yeah, I’ve always liked Disney movies, Toy Story is my favourite though.”  
“What made you move to Australia?” I asked as Liam sat down on the couch next to me.  
“I was studying back in the UK and as part of my degree I could go on exchange so I came to Australia but I loved it so much I decided to stay. I’ve been back home a couple of times to visit but I definitely think I made the right choice staying here.”  
“How did you manage to score a job at St Lucy’s?”  
“I did my internship there last year and impressed them so they offered me a permanent job as the senior music teacher,” he smiled.  
“Wow, you really got lucky. What would you have been if you weren’t a teacher?” I asked.  
“Well, I was short listed for the London Olympics for Athletics but I did my knee so I wasn’t able to pursue that, then I thought about being a musician. I even tried out for X-Factor when I was fourteen and sixteen but I didn’t make it. So, I decided to become a music teacher. I guess if I had to choose another career, maybe a fireman. Someone who helps people.”  
“Have you always been like that?”  
“Like what?”  
“The kind of person who likes to help people?”  
“Yeah, I used to get bullied because of it all through school, which is why I feel so defensive of you especially when Natalie gives you a hard time. I just want your last year of high school to be a positive one.”  
“Well, having you as my teacher is a massive positive, it makes me want to come to school. I could have easily just not gone back to school and gone to TAFE or got a fulltime job. The fact you made an effort to try and make an effort to get to know me on the first day when you realised something was wrong, that made a massive difference for me. It made me realise maybe someone just might care.”  
“I do care Luka, more than I probably should but I do,” he said as he pressed play on the movie.  
I smiled at him and turned to face the TV, but at the same time quickly checked my phone to see several messages from Dad asking if I was okay. I quickly messaged him back saying I was fine and I would be home later, to which he replied with a simple, “okay”.  
“Your Dad?” Liam asked.  
“Yeah, I don’t think he’s very happy that I left the house in the middle of the night. Oh well.”  
“You’re eighteen Luka, legally he can’t make you do anything.”  
“I know, it’s just not that easy.”  
“Hey, I know and I’m not telling you what to do either but if you ever need somewhere to escape, you’re always welcome here. I’ve got a spare bed, food in the fridge and wifi and a willing ear.”  
“Thanks Liam,” I smiled.   
“Here, pass me your phone and I’ll put my number in for if you ever need me. You can’t tell anyone at school though.”  
“Who would I tell?” I chuckled as I passed him my phone so he could put his number into my phone.  
“True that,” he smiled.

As the movie played, I could feel myself getting sleepy and I decided to lie down and put my head on the arm rest and curled my legs in, being careful not to touch Liam. Without missing a beat, Liam got up and got me a blanket and wrapped me in it.  
“Do you want me to turn the movie off?” he asked.  
“No, I still want to watch it, I was just feeling sleepy.”

I’m not sure how much more of the movie I saw before I fell asleep but all I remember was being shaken gently when the sun was starting to come through the blinds.  
“Luka, I need to drop you home so you can get ready for school.”  
I blinked a few times then sat up and rubbed my eyes. Liam was standing there in a pair of brown chinos and no shirt. He had an impressive six pack and sleeve tattoos on his arms and a cute little brown birthmark on his neck I had never really noticed.   
“I like your tattoos,” I smiled.  
“Our secret, I’m not meant to have them. Thus, why I wear long sleeved shirts every day.”  
“Ahh, that good old Catholics. You need to live like a saint to work for them,” I laughed.  
“Pretty much, or at least be really good at living a double life,” he replied as he started to put his blue shirt for the day on.  
“Are you copying Mr Barry’s fashion sense?” I teased.  
“I think he’s been copying mine to be completely honest,” he replied with a laugh. 

To be honest, I was dreading walking in the door after being out all night and Dad not really knowing where I was but I would deal with that if he said anything. When Liam dropped me off out the front he told me he would see me at school and smiled as I shut the door.

When I got inside, the lounge room was empty but there was a note on the kitchen bench.  
Hope you got home okay Luka  
I’m really, really sorry  
Can we talk about this tonight?  
Text me  
Love Dad.  
I opened Dad’s bedroom door quietly to see him passed out and all the blinds shut. I shut the door almost silently before going into my room to get my uniform ready for school and have a quick shower. Once I was ready and I had all my stuff in my bag, I grabbed my car keys and made my way out to my car.

When I got to school, I went to my locker to see what classes I had on for the day. Wednesdays weren’t too bad.   
8:30am – Home Room  
8.45am – English  
9.45am- English  
10.45am – Lunch  
11.30am – Music  
12.30pm- Music  
1.30pm – Lunch  
2.15pm – Modern History  
3.15pm – End of the day

I got my laptop, headphones and iPod out of my bag because that was all I was going to need for the day. I had about half an hour until the bell was due to go so I went to my usual spot and decided to keep going with my English assignment until the bell went. I made my way up to homeroom, listened to the morning messages and answered my name on the roll then made my way to English. I wouldn’t say I rushed to be there, but I definitely did walk faster, mostly in an aim to avoid Natalie even though she wasn’t in my English class. When I got there, Mr Barry was waiting at his desk, his feet on it. No one else was in there, and he smiled as I walked in. Today he was dressed in a pair of black jeans and a light blue collared short and his staple pair of RM Williams boots. 

“Hey Luka,”  
“You look relaxed,” I teased.  
“Shh, don’t tell the boss,” he laughed taking his feet of his desk. “Are you alright Luka? You look tired.”  
“I just had a late night is all.”  
“How’s your assignment going?” he asked, as more of my classmates started streaming in.  
“I’m smashing it out, it’s the only one I’m motivated enough to do to be honest.”  
“That’s what I like to hear,” he replied.

Once everyone was in class and seated, Mr Barry got up from his seat and walked over to the whiteboard and wrote the word Freedom in his now trademark scrawl. Ten year olds could seriously write better than he could and he is a teacher!

“Alright Year 12, I know you’re all knee deep in your assignments right now but I thought maybe this first hour we would do a different writing task to the one you’re doing. You have one hour to write me something to do with the word freedom. It could be a short story, a poem, an opinion piece, you name it. You can listen to your music while you do it, I don’t mind. If you need to talk to me about your assignment you can come up and do that too.”

Freedom? Seriously? I could write a book about that fucking word. There’s so many ways that I would find my freedom in this world. While I was in the mood for a good short story, I decided to write a reflection piece about the word and just spill my heart onto the keys. I turned on a playlist of Ed Sheeran, put my headphones on and opened Microsoft Word and began to type

Freedom is a strange concept, especially to someone who is recently eighteen years old. From the time I was little, all I ever talked about was what I would do when I was an adult and now that I technically am one and it’s really only nine months until I’m “free” from forced education – not that I mind it! I’ll be free from living with my family and free to be independent and discover the world for myself without being mollycoddled all the time. What would I do with my freedom when I get it? I would first go on a trip somewhere, I don’t quite know where yet but I would love to go somewhere obscure. Maybe a remote Aboriginal community and work with families there in some capacity, or go to Europe and backpack my way through different towns and meet new people. I’ve always loved the idea of adventure even if I am the most anxious and highly strung person that I know. The anxiety of the unknown is what gets me. If I can’t predict what is going to happen next, it’s very hard for me to stay focused and see the task at hand. For me, another way of being free would be to be the decider of what is to happen with my body – no one can touch me without permission in any way shape or form. I always wonder what freedom feels like in heaven. Is it really like all the things we read about? I wish there was a hotline to heaven so I could call my Mum and ask her just that, maybe then the idea of going there to find my freedom wouldn’t be all that scary. My music is always something that has given me a degree of freedom, no one else can pick my musical tastes except me, no one can control what I listen to and when I listen to it – except when I’m at school of course. Music helps me soul search and find my inner freedom. It helps me find my confidence and express myself in ways that I’m comfortable with and on my own terms, no anyone else’s. I can lose myself in music and not have to find myself if I don’t want to until I’m ready. Freedom can be expression, it can be an identity, it can be a descriptor, it can be a feeling. All I know is that I am so ready to find it in as many ways as I can. 

Once I had written all I felt like writing, I sent it to Mr Barry via email and decided to send a copy to Liam with the following message  
To: Liam Payne lpayne@stlucys.vic.edu.au  
From: Luka Le Nevez llenevez@stlucys.vic.edu.au  
Subject: Reflection on Freedom  
Hi Mr Payne,  
In English today we had to write a piece about freedom and I thought maybe this might give you an insight into my love of music and why I get so into it. Plus it will teach you a bit more about me too.

Luka.

Mr Barry came over to me and knelt beside my desk so he was at my level rather than standing over me – not that I mind – my eye line when he stands up is perfect (hint, hint).   
“Wow Luka, when you get on a roll you certainly can smash out a few words. How in the world did you write 420 words that fast?” he said quietly so he didn’t disturb everyone else.   
“Like I said to you the other day, I enjoy writing and when I’ve got an idea and can get it on paper I just let it flow. Why did you pick freedom?” I asked.  
“You ladies are all at the age where you are ready to start thinking about your options for next year and what you are going to do with your new found freedom so I figured this would be a good topic. Plus I love a good free writing session. You can keep going with your assessment if you want. Are you nearly ready to hand in a draft?”  
“Give me another day or so and I should be. There’s definitely no word limit is there?” I asked.  
“Well it is a short story Luka, so 5000 words max but set your limit as 4000 just to be safe. I’m marking it but if it has to go to moderation or panel, you need to make sure you’re in the limit.”  
“Okay, I’m at 3000 words so I’ll start wrapping it up.”  
“Are you sure you don’t want some feedback on what you’ve done so far?”  
“I’m sure, give it to me in one foul swoop.” I smiled.

The next hour and a half went by pretty fast, I got through another paragraph of my assignment and edited it and made sure it made sense. All I had left was the end of the climax and the resolution. I was becoming strangely attached to this assignment, maybe it was because we had the freedom to choose the stimulus we wanted and it allowed me to show myself through the characters in ways I haven’t been able to with writing assessment before. When the lesson was over I went up to my homeroom to get my wallet to go to the tuckshop to buy myself some lunch. My school’s tuckshop was the best, all the food was homemade and they had the most incredible pasta! For four dollars you could get a well filled container of pasta with cheese and it was never ever a bad batch, well at least in the last two weeks. Our tuckshop also managed to sell my all time favourite drink and the only thing that kept me awake most days – Diet Coke. Once I had my food, I went to my usual spot and finally was able to stop and check my phone. There was a message from Liam.

From: Liam P.  
Just read the piece you wrote in English.  
Wow you have a way with words Luke.  
See you next period :) L.

I also had a message from Dad.  
From: Matt Le Nevez (Dad).  
Did you come home last night?  
Dinner tonight, my treat. Japanese sound good?  
I do love you Luka, I hope you know that.  
x Dad.

To: Matt Le Nevez  
Came home early this morning.  
Can I let you know about dinner? I just want to see how this day goes.   
I love you too.   
Lx

Today must have been my day because in music there was absolutely no sign of Natalie. Mr Payne was teaching us how to analyse modern music in depth and he just happened to use my favourite song by Ed Sheeran – Wake me Up. It’s a simple song but it was more about analysing the lyrics and how the lyrics go with the melody. As Mr Payne was explaining it to us, you could see by the way he spoke that he was passionate about music and different types of it. He was so excited and focused and while he did throw a few glances my way through the lesson I tried not to think about it too much. I also had to make sure I didn’t accidently call him Liam despite the fact he wishes we would, I didn’t want to draw attention to myself. I won’t lie, I do have a crush on him but I’m his student, he’s my teacher. Although after last night, I think he’ll be more of a friend than a teacher.


	5. 5 - What is this?

During second lunch, another message came through from Liam.   
From: Liam P  
You were quiet in class. Tired?  
Do you want to grab dinner tonight?  
My shout. I was thinking Mexican or Chinese.  
Liam.

To: Liam P  
Yeah tired, and just didn’t want to draw attention to myself  
You looked like you were having fun up there though.   
Oh, Chinese sounds good.   
Where and time?

From: Liam P  
7pm at Gold Fortune in China Town?  
Do you want a lift?

To: Liam P  
I’ll be there with bells on.   
I’m assuming where you picked is somewhere  
that no one from school will be :)  
I’ll find a way there. It’s fine. Luka.

From: Liam P  
How did you guess?  
See you tonight.

 

The rest of the school day went pretty fast, and when I got home I found that Dad was awake and he was sitting at the bar in the kitchen on his laptop.

“Hi…” I said quietly when I walked in.  
Dad looked up with a smile. “Hey Luke, how was your day?”  
“Busy, lots of work. Listen Dad, I’m sorry I left like that last night but I was angry.”  
“No, you had every right to be mad Luka, I fucked up again and you shouldn’t have to put up with it. So you’ve met a new friend then?”  
“Yeah sort of. I hope you don’t mind but I’m going for dinner with them tonight.”  
“It’s fine, I’ve got a work thing tonight anyway. Maybe you should invite your friend out on Friday night if you still want to go out with me for your belated birthday?”  
“I’ll see Dad. Anyway, I’m going to go and have a nap before dinner because I’m seriously tired. I’m going out at about seven but I’ll try and be home later,” I replied.  
“Okay Luka, I’ll see you later. Have fun okay. Try not to be out too late, it is a school night remember.”  
“I know Dad, I’ll try be home before eleven okay?”  
“Okay, just text me when you get home so I know you’re safe.”  
“I will.”

I took my stuff into my bedroom and quickly picked an outfit before I had my nap. I decided on a little black dress that had sleeves and was flowy, a leather jacket and a pair of black sandal flats. I got out of my uniform and put on an old t-shirt and set my alarm for 6pm and curled up in bed and crashed almost straight away.

Soon enough I woke to the sound of my alarm and I will admit I was tempted to snooze it and keep sleeping but I managed to get myself out of bed and into the shower. I decided to keep my blonde hair out and straightened it quickly. I put the smallest bit of make up on and went back into my room to get dressed. Once I was somewhat pleased with my appearance, I grabbed my handbag, keys, wallet and phone, ordered an Uber and went out into the kitchen and saw Dad sitting on the couch dressed in a pair of black jeans and a pink collared shirt, he looked like the Dad I remembered. Someone who was proud of his appearance.  
“You look nice Dad,” I said before I leaned over to kiss him on the cheek.   
“Thanks Luke, so do you. That dress looks beautiful on you. You really should wear dresses more often.”  
“I’m trying,” I said with a smile. “It’s a confidence thing Dad. But thanks. Anyway Dad, I better go. Have fun tonight.”  
“You too baby. See you tomorrow. Love you.  
“Love you too Dad.”

I made my way out to the Uber and I could feel my anxiety starting to set in. It always seemed to happen at the times I didn’t need it to. My hands were shaking and my stomach was churning. I think it was the fact I had a crush on Liam that was making me anxious. Not knowing what would happen that night. The fear of the unknown.

Fifteen minutes later I arrived at the restaurant, I walked in and saw Liam sitting at a table towards the back of the restaurant. He was wearing a black t-shirt, leather jacket and jeans and some fancy sneakers. He smiled when he saw me and stood up to pull out my chair for me.

“Hi,” I said shyly  
“You look amazing Luka, I love that dress on you.”  
“Oh thanks, you look handsome. I like being able to see your tattoos, it’s like seeing a side of you no one else gets to see.”  
“It is hey? Now what would you like to drink?”  
“What are you having?” I asked pointing to the drink he already had on the table.  
“A Bacardi and coke.”  
“Can I have a glass of wine?”  
“Of course, red or white?”  
“White, I don’t mind what kind.” I replied with a smile.  
When the waitress came past Liam ordered my drink for me and got some entrees for the table too.  
“So you’re probably wondering why I asked you for dinner?” he asked, running his fingers over the glass in front of him.  
“Yeah,” I replied looking down at the table.  
“I know this is so wrong, me being your teacher and all but I’m just going to put my cards on the table. I like you Luka, as more than a student. I want to protect you. I want to prove to you that not all men are arseholes. If you don’t feel comfortable with it then it’s okay.”  
I must have looked stunned when Liam said that because he reached out and put his hand on top of mine.  
“I completely understand if it’s too much Luka. I just wanted to let you know how I feel about you. Last night, I felt like I got to know another part of you and you looked like you seemed comfortable with me. I know I’ve only known you for a couple of weeks…”  
“No Liam, it’s not too much at all. In fact, it’s the sweetest thing anyone has said to me. I have to admit I have a crush on you. My only thing is what about school? Can’t you get into a lot of trouble for dating a student?”  
“Yeah but they don’t need to know,” he said with a smile.  
“Hiding a relationship is a bit harder than hiding tattoos,” I replied.  
“That’s true, but I’m sure at school we can keep it professional, and we just go dates to places where people can’t see us together.”  
“What about my Dad?”  
“Is he likely to come to parent teacher interviews?”  
“Probably not,”  
“Well we’ll figure out how to approach the topic with your Dad. But Luka, I want to take things slow. And by slow, I mean like really slow. I don’t want you to feel like you don’t have any power in the relationship. If there are things you don’t feel comfortable with, you need to tell me straight away.”  
“Okay, and I’m fine with taking things slow. I’ve never had a boyfriend before so this is all new to me. So, if I’m not very good at the whole relationship thing, you know why. I am a very affectionate person too, so please don’t be offended if I seem clingy. I promise I’ll try not to be.”  
“Luka, trust me, I’m as affectionate as you can get. I love nothing more than snuggling up and watching movies. I want you to feel comfortable so please don’t ever be scared to be affectionate. Affection is probably something you’ve been missing the last few months anyway so it’ll be nice to show you some.”

We sat there in silence, looking happily at each other before my drink and our entrees arrived. Liam had ordered some dim sims, spring rolls and soup for us to share. He offered for me to choose first, to which I shyly accepted by hesitantly reaching for two dim sims.  
“You don’t have to be shy Luke, trust me. There’s no judgement for what you choose to eat, I’m planning on eating heaps so don’t be shy if you’re hungry okay?”  
I nodded and began eating my dim sims, watching Liam’s every move carefully. He smiled at me as he began to enjoy the soup he had put into his bowl.

“Have you always been a quiet person Luka?” he asked as we ate.  
“Before Mum died I used to be quite out there but since she passed away I’ve become a lot quieter, probably so I don’t annoy Dad any more than I need to. I’ve never been overly confident though, it’s always just been a cover. I’ve always been very self-conscious and wary of what other people think of me.”  
“Well there’s no need to be like that with me okay? If you haven’t noticed yet, I’m not the type to judge people and I just want you to feel comfortable with me. I understand it’s going to take a while for you to trust me but I’m hoping you’ll realise sooner rather than later I just want what is best.”  
I nodded and smiled at him. “I’ve never had this much connection with someone in such a short time before. I think I’m scared you’re going to realise how messed up I am and decide I’m not worth the hassle.”  
“Oh Luka, don’t worry about that,” he replied reaching over to grab my hand and squeeze it gently.

We ate the rest of our entrée in silence until the waitress came to ask what we would like for mains.  
“What do you like Luka?”  
“Cashew Chicken is my favourite,” I replied with a smile.  
“Yum, okay can we get a Cashew Chicken and vegetables, Mongolian Lamb and some fried rice please? Is that okay Luka?”  
“Perfect Li.”

When the waitress walked away, I took a sip of my wine then licked my lips. Liam chuckled, “You okay?”  
“Yeah. Hey, is it, bad that it’s really easy calling you Liam?”  
“No not at all. Remember there’s not that much of an age gap. If I had my way everyone would call me Liam. Not this Mr Payne crap,” he laughed.  
“So I remember you saying in class the other day that you write songs and you sing. What kind of music do you write?”  
“Well, I really like hip-hop and R&B songs but I’ve written a few pop/rock songs as well. I’ll have to play you one.”  
“You should show our class, I reckon everyone would love to hear you sing.”  
“Well that’s the plan next term when you have to do your performance piece. I remember reading on your introduction piece I got you guys to write that you play guitar and piano. You’ll have to show me one day, when I’m not in a teaching capacity,” he laughed.  
“I’m a bit out of practise, Dad isn’t overly keen on me playing music at the moment. He says it reminds him too much of Mum. That’s how I got the bruises you saw the other week, I was practising my guitar and Dad had had a few drinks and he wasn’t too happy with me because I was playing too loud.”  
“Fuck Luka, that sounds shit. I really hope your Dad pulls his head out of his arse and stops being so horrible to you.”  
“I’m really hoping one of his co-stars will realise something isn’t right but he seems to coordinate the nights that he drinks too much with when he doesn’t have to work. I can’t force him to get help unfortunately and it think it’s all part of the grieving process for him.”  
“It still doesn’t excuse his behaviour, Luka. You’re grieving too but you aren’t going around hitting people. Sorry I shouldn’t talk like that, it just makes me angry.”  
“No you’re right Liam, you’re right.”  
“So, after dinner do you want to come back to mine and I can show you some of my music?” Liam asked.  
“I’d love that, I can’t stay tonight though.”  
“No I understand, school tomorrow.”  
“I’m probably way out of line here and it’s not the right time to ask seeing as we don’t know how to approach the topic of us with my Dad, but he wants to take me out for drinks tomorrow night and I wanted to know if you wanted to come”  
“That would be awesome, are you doing any activities outside of school?” he asked.  
“I signed up for an acting class, maybe we could say we met there?” I replied.  
“Is it an over eighteen class?”  
“Yeah, it’s mostly university students.”  
“Perfect. I know it’s bad lying to your Dad but it’s to protect both you and I.”  
“No, I totally agree with you Liam. But yeah, I’d love it if you would come. I think some of Dad’s friends from work are coming too. I’m not sure if it’s going to be a big night or not but you and I could go off later and go dancing or something.”  
“It sounds like fun,” he responded with a smirk.  
“Why the smirk?” I laughed.  
“No reason, I’m just looking forward to it. Do you want another drink?”  
I nodded and he called the waitress over to order us more drinks. 

The rest of dinner passed without much fuss, we talked about our interests, Liam told me about his family back home in Wolverhampton, I told him about my Mum and what she was like. There was never an awkward moment or silence between the two of us. The conversation just seemed to flow. It was nice being around someone who understood what I was feeling in some form. Once we were finished, I offered to go halves with Liam in the bill but he flat out refused to let me pay. He said it was his idea so he would pay plus the man always buys on the first date.

“How did you get here?” I asked Liam when we got out of the restaurant.  
“I caught an Uber, it’s almost impossible to get a park around here. What about you?”  
“Same,” I replied.  
“Do you want to go and grab an ice cream before we head to mine?” he asked.  
“Yes please!” I said excitedly. “I love ice cream, it’s the one vice I can’t resist.”  
“What’s your favourite flavour?” he asked, before he put his hand out for me to hold. I put my hand in his and we began walking.  
“It’s a toss up between cookies and cream and chocolate.”  
“Nice, mine’s chocolate but I also don’t mind a good hazelnut ice cream too.”  
“Yum!”

We walked for about five minutes before we came to a quiet looking gelato shop. “Cup or cone?” Liam asked.  
“Cone please.”  
We walked in and there were a large range of flavours we could choose. “Can I please have one flavour?” I asked Liam looking up at him, still holding his hand.  
“You can have as many as you want Luke, I’m going to grab chocolate and hazelnut I think.”  
“I’ll just have a cookies and cream one please,” I replied.

Liam ordered our ice creams for us and once they gave them to us, we found a table to sit and eat them, this time Liam sitting next to me. I had noticed while we were walking to the ice cream shop that he smelt amazing. Smell was always something I noticed first with people, particularly guys. Liam smelt like a mix of Lynx Africa and really nice aftershave.  
“What aftershave do you use Liam?” I asked.  
“David Beckham’s one. I can’t remember the exact name of it but I’ve been using it since I was like fifteen so I figure why change,” he chuckled.   
“Well it smells really nice, especially mixed with Lynx.”  
“Thanks!”  
We sat quietly while we ate our ice creams, stealing the odd glance at each other and laughing every time we busted the other looking.  
Once our ice creams were finished, we caught an Uber and headed back to Liam’s place. When we got back to his house, we went inside and he poured me a glass of wine and himself a Bacardi and coke and he took me into what looked like his study. He had a computer set up and a guitar and keyboard.

“Wow Liam, this is really impressive!” I exclaimed, sitting on the floor cross legged looking up at him as he sat on the office chair and tuned his guitar.  
“You can sit on the couch there if you want Luka.”  
“Nah I like sitting on the floor, so what are you going to play for me?”  
“Well you know how today we sat and analysed Ed Sheeran’s music?”  
“Yeah, best lesson ever!”  
“Well I’m friends with Ed, before I moved over to Australia we used to write music together.”  
“Did you meet him through your X-Factor connections?”  
“Sort of, I met him at song writing camps I did at Uni but also through people I knew from X-Factor. So this is one we wrote together called Little Things”


	6. 6. New Beginnings

Liam

I began to play Little Things, I wrote it with Ed back in 2012 when I was in my first year of university and we met at a song writing camp and it reminded me so much of Luka.  
Luka looked up at me with a smile as I strummed the introduction and began to sing.

As I sang, Luka was swaying to the music and I winked at her occasionally and she would giggle which brought a smile to my face as well. I loved singing, there was always a part of me that regretted not following my music career further than what X-Factor allowed me to but then I also felt at home teaching. I liked being able to teach the next generation of musicians about the craft I loved so much.

Luka clapped and cheered when I finished and I smiled at her, and I was feeling the incessant butterflies that I had felt all night still fluttering away.  
“So what do you think?”  
“Liam, you have an incredible voice. Like seriously incredible, the people at X-Factor are seriously insane. You should be famous! Not being a teacher!” she exclaimed.  
“Thanks,” I laughed, “I actually kind of like being a teacher, but you never know. One day I might decide to go back to it. At least I know I’ll have one fan.”  
“So, any other hidden talents?” Luka asked.  
“There’s a few, but you’ll have to find out another time.”  
“Aww come on, you’re no fun!”  
“Come on, let’s go downstairs and watch a movie or something. Do you like video games?”  
“I’m not very good at them but I’ll give it a go. What game are you thinking?”  
“Well, I happen to have FIFA. I can teach you how to play if you want.”  
“Ahh, now FIFA is a game I’m good at. You’re on Payne,” Luka exclaimed before getting up, grabbing her drink and running downstairs. I followed behind, turning out the lights in the study and making my way downstairs. I saw Luka sitting eagerly sitting on the couch waiting for me. I went over to the bookshelf and got the FIFA packet out and set up the PlayStation, passing Luka a controller. 

We played FIFA for a while, laughing and shoving each other the whole time trying to distract each other. Luka eventually looked at the time and paused the game and stood up. “I should probably go, tonight has been fun though.”  
“Yeah, I’ve had a great time. Here, let me order you an Uber,” I said getting up off the couch to get my phone.  
“I can order an Uber Li, it’s fine. Thank you for dinner and the ice cream,” Luka replied, looking down at her phone ordering an Uber.  
Once she had ordered it, she put her phone in her pocket and I opened my arms for a hug and she slotted into my arms perfectly and I hugged her tight and kissed her forehead.  
“I’ll come out and wait for your Uber with you,” I said as I pulled away and held her hand before she grabbed her bag and we went outside to wait at the front of my complex for the Uber. 

Before Luka got into the waiting car, I hugged her again and kissed her cheek. “See you tomorrow babe.”  
She smiled back at me and mouthed goodbye before she got in the car. I watched as they drove away and I ran my hands through my hair and smiled to myself. I made my way back to my house and sat on the couch to keep playing FIFA for a while.

About twenty minutes later a message lit up my phone.

  
From: Luka Le Nevez  
Thanks for dinner Liam. I had the best time  
We’ll have to play FIFA again, I’ll win next time!  
Night night xo

To: Luka Le Nevez  
Anytime Luka :) I had a great time too  
Oh it’s on! See you tomorrow.  
Sweet dreams x  


Fridays were always a good day at work, someone always bought in sweets and the lessons were always a little bit more laid back. Fridays in my senior music class are own choice. The girls can do composition, they can play their chosen instrument or work on their assignments. The most popular choice so far has been composition and assignments. Luka was sitting doing her assignment quietly, her music playing in her ears. I wandered around the room, checking in with each student, making sure they were on task. When I got to Luka she looked like she was pretty focused on what she was doing so I let her be.

At second break, I was sitting in my classroom listening to music and doing some marking when a text came through from Luka.

  
From: Luka Le Nevez  
Are you still on for tonight?  
Dad said we are heading out at 9.  
I’m not sure where we are going first but I’ll keep you posted.  
x L.

To: Luka Le Nevez  
Yeah I’m still in!  
All good, you just tell me where and I’ll be there.  
You looked very focused in class today.  
Can’t wait to read your assignment!  
x  


That afternoon after work, I went home to have a nap so I would have enough energy for a late night. When I woke up I made my way to the bathroom for a long hot shower and then a shave, making sure to look impressive so I made a good impression on Luka’s Dad. I swear I spent five minutes standing in front of my wardrobe trying to pick an outfit. I ended up picking my favourite pair of dark blue ripped jeans, a grey t-shirt and my favourite brown lace up boots. Once I was dressed I sent Luka a picture of my outfit.

  
To: Luka Le Nevez  
Is this okay? Or should I cover my tattoos?

From: Luka Le Nevez  
Love it! I really like the boots.  
Dad has tattoos, it’s fine!  
We’re heading off in about 10 minutes  
First stop 1806 Cocktail bar on Exhibition St.  
See you soon x  


I decided to wait about twenty minutes before heading into town to give Luka a bit of time with her Dad and so I didn’t seem overly keen. When I got to the bar, I found it was rather packed, I eventually found Luka, sitting around a table with about six other people. I waved at Luka and she stood up and came over to me and gave me a hug. She was wearing a cute little black dress and a pair of gladiator sandals.

“Come and meet Dad! You look so good Li.”  
“Thanks Luke, so do you!” Luka took my hand and we walked over to where everyone was sitting.  
“Dad, this is Liam. Liam this is my Dad Matthew.”  
“Hi Sir.”  
“Cut the Sir Liam, call me Matt. So, you’re the friend my Luke has been hanging out with this week?” he asked standing up and shaking my hand.  
“Yeah, we met at the acting class we do together.”  
“Well it’s nice to see she’s made a friend. Do you want a drink?”  
“Oh it’s okay, I can get mine.”  
“Don’t be silly Liam, my shout. What do you want?”  
“A Bacardi and coke please.”  
“Coming up, here sit down, Luka will introduce you to everyone else.”

Luka introduced me to everyone once I was sitting down, there was Asher, Richard, Debra, John, Kat and Eddie. They all seemed really lovely.  
“What are you drinking?” I asked Luka.  
“Vodka Lemonade,” she smiled.  
“Nice, so your Dad seems to like me.”  
“He’s not that hard to impress Li,” she laughed.  
“Does he know that I asked you out?”  
“I may have mentioned it.”  
“And his reaction?”  
“He seemed fine with it, the only thing he said was not to let it affect my studies. I’m sure he will talk to you about it as the night goes on.”  
“Oh yay!’ I said sarcastically.  
“Here you go Liam,” Matt said passing me my drink before sitting down on the other side of me.  
“Oh thank you.”  
“So what do you do for work Liam?”  
“I’m a music teacher but I also write music.”  
“Impressive. Luka writes her own music too but I’m sure she’s already told you that.”  
“Yeah she did but she’s yet to show me.”  
“So you’re English?”  
“Yeah, from Wolverhampton in the Midlands. I came over here for university and loved it so much I decided to stay.”  
“How old are you Liam?”  
“Dad, seriously, stop with the inquisition!” Luka laughed.  
“It’s fine Luke, I’m twenty-two.”

Matt seemed okay with my answer, then he went on talking with his friends so I was now free to talk with Luka.  
“Sorry,” she said quietly.  
“Hey, it’s fine. How’s your drink?”  
“Good, nearly finished though.”  
“When I finish mine we’ll go up to the bar and get another one. What’s your Dad drinking?”  
“Rum and coke I think.”

Once we had both finished our drinks, we got up to go and get another. As we stood waiting at the bar, I had my arm around Luka’s waist and she looked up at me with a smile.  
“Another vodka lemonade Luke?”  
“Yes please.”  
“So, are we going to go dancing a bit later?”  
“Hell yeah, if you want to anyway.”  
“Yeah of course! That’s the part I’m looking forward to the most. I warn you, I’m a shit dancer but I’m sure a few more drinks might help me along.”  
“I’m sure you’re not that bad,” she laughed.

I ordered drinks for Luka, Matt and I and we made our way back over to the table. Matt smiled and said thanks when I passed him his drink.  
“Liam, come for a walk with me for a minute?” Matt asked standing up.  
“Um, okay.” I said hesitantly.

Luka looked at me confused before she sat down and I followed Matt over to a quiet part of the bar.  
“I’m not meaning to embarrass you Liam but what exactly are your intentions with Luka?” Matt asked with a stern look on his face.  
“I really like her, I don’t want to mess her around. I asked her to be my girlfriend last night. I don’t do casual flings Matt. It’s either all in or nothing.”  
“I just don’t want her getting hurt, you are four years older than her after all. She’s been through a lot in the last six months with her Mum passing away. I also don’t want her getting distracted in her last year of school,” he replied. Quite frankly I thought he was more of a distraction than I was but I couldn’t betray Luka’s trust and bring up what I knew about her Dad.  
“I promise Matt, I won’t hurt her. I’ll make sure she studies and I’ll look after her. I want to take things slow. I don’t want to rush her into anything she’s not ready for,” I reassured him.  
“You sound like a decent guy Liam and I don’t want to come off as an arsehole but I just want what is best for Luka is all. I don’t know if her dating someone who is four years older is what’s best.”  
“Matt, I promise all I want to do is be there for your daughter. I really like her, we get along really well. I won’t hurt her, I swear to you. As far as her studies go, I’m happy to help her study and if she needs time to study then I’ll give it to her. Please Matt, just let me prove to you I can look after her.”  
“Fine, but just know I’m watching you.”  
“I understand,” I replied. “Can we go back over to the others now?”  
“Yeah you’re free.”

When we got back over to the table, Luka looked at me worried and I just shook my head.  
“What happened?” she whispered into my ear.  
“Your Dad was questioning my intentions,” I whispered back.  
“Oh shit, seriously?” she groaned.  
“It’s fine, don’t worry about it Luke,” I smiled before I put my hand on her knee reassuringly.

We had a few more drinks, the buzz was starting to hit and Luka was starting to become a bit more affectionate, just basic things like putting her hand on my arm but hey signals none the less.  
“Do you want to go somewhere else?” Luka asked eventually.  
“Sure, Inflation night club is good apparently. Do you want to go there?” I asked  
“That sounds fun, can we walk there?”  
“Yeah it’s only around the corner.”  
“Awesome, let’s go. Dad! Liam and I are going to go dancing, we’ll see you later okay?” Luka called out to her Dad before she stood up.  
“Okay, go have fun. Let me know when you’re on the way home. Here take this. It was nice to meet you Liam,” Matt said passing Luka some money then putting his hand out for me to shake.  
“You too Matt.” I replied shaking his hand. I then waved to everyone else and Luka kissed her Dad on the cheek and we went out onto the street.

“I’m sorry my Dad was an ass to you,” Luka said worried putting the money her Dad gave her into her clutch.  
“Luke, it’s fine honestly. He was just being protective. He didn’t put me off in the slightest. Plus he was being a total hypocrite. Come on, let’s go to this club and have a few drinks and a dance hey?”  
“Yeah let’s go!” she exclaimed.

I took her hand and we made our way to the club. There was a bit of a line, I stood behind Luka with my arms around her waist. Once we got in, we made our way straight to the bar.  
“Do you want to do shots?” I asked.  
“I’ve never done shots before.”  
“Let’s do tequila. You’ll probably hate me in the morning but they’re fun!” I laughed.  
“I’ll try anything once, let’s do it!”  
“Two tequila shots, a rum and coke and a vodka lemonade,” I called out to the bartender.  
Once the drinks were set out in front of us, I shouted out to Luka, “Lick the salt, shot the tequila and suck the lemon. Ready?”  
“Ready!”  
Back in my university days, the number of tequila shots I had done were infinite. As soon as the salt hit my tongue it was almost a fluid motion. The burning of the tequila made me pull a face, as did the sour of the lemon. When I looked up, Luka was still debating whether to do the shot.  
“Come on Luke! Just do it.” I encouraged loudly.  
She took a deep breath and licked the salt and finally drank the shot. As soon as it hit the back of her throat she coughed and pulled a face. I passed her the lemon and she sucked on it quickly.  
“Oh my god, that’s so gross!” she laughed.  
“Quick, drink your vodka,” I said passing her the vodka lemonade that was waiting for her on the bar.  
“How on earth did you do that shot so effortlessly?” she asked.  
“University, trust me. It took a lot of practice Luka but I reckon it’s fun. Maybe next time we don’t do a tequila shot, maybe something a bit softer.”  
“Yeah, that burnt the fuck out of my throat.”  
“Come on, drink that and let’s go and dance hey?”

After we finished our drinks we went out onto the crowded dancefloor where they were playing some sort of dance music. Luka stuck pretty close to me as we danced.  
“Are you alright?” I asked into her ear.  
“Not a fan of crowds is all,” she replied.  
“Why didn’t you tell me?”  
“Cause I wanted to go dancing too, I just have to get used to it is all.”  
“Let’s have another drink and see how that makes you feel hey?”  
“Okay!” she smiled before I took her hand and led her over to the bar.

I ordered us both another drink and we went over to a booth we found.  
We sat close to each other and I put my hand on Luka’s thigh. She put her head on my shoulder and was tracing the tattoos on my arm as we both enjoyed our drinks and watched the people around us.  
“You look really beautiful tonight Luka,” I whispered to her.  
She looked up at me with a smile, “Oh thanks Li. You look handsome, I really like your outfit.”  
“Are you sure it was okay to wear to meet your Dad in? I really feel like I should have dressed up more.” I replied worried.  
“Oh stop stressing Liam. You look great don’t worry about what my Dad thinks.”  
“So, do you reckon you’re ready to dance again?” I asked trying to change the subject.  
“Can we go do another shot?” she asked eagerly. “Just please not tequila.”  
“Sure, come on let’s go babe.”

I ordered us some wet pussy shots, when Luka heard me say that she laughed and I shook my head in jest. “Stop being so immature,” I teased.  
“What’s in these?” Luka asked over the music.  
“Vodka and raspberry cordial. You’ll hardly taste the vodka, that’s why I got us two each.”  
“I’m trusting you on this Li,” she teased. “It better not burn like that tequila shot.”  
“It won’t, trust me.”

Luka hesitantly picked up the shot glass, and suddenly shot it. She pulled a bit of a face, but not as much as she did with the tequila. “Okay, you were right. Much better than the tequila shot.”  
I shot mine then passed Luka the second one. She smiled as she took it, we nodded at each other and shot it at the same time. We laughed at each other’s reaction and then she took my hand and we went out to the dance floor. I danced behind Luka, putting my hands around her waist as she swayed to the music. Eventually she turned around and put her arms around my neck as she stood on her tiptoes and all of a sudden, I felt her tiny lips on mine. I was in shock for a second before I started kissing her back. I moved my hand to rest on her cheek and I felt her smile as we kissed. I hadn’t had a kiss like that in a long time. It gave me serious butterflies. When she pulled away I kissed her forehead. Luka got off her toes and wrapped her arms around me and hugged me. We got back to dancing, this time facing each other, We stole a few more kisses as we danced. Eventually Luka motioned towards the bar and we went and had another drink. 

“Are you doing okay Luke?” I asked while we waited.  
“Yeah great,” she smiled. “You’re a good kisser.”  
“Oh thanks. You’re not too bad yourself.”  
“Maybe you might have to teach me a thing or two.”  
“Maybe,” I winked. “So, a few more songs and then we might get you home hey? It’s nearly two in the morning.”  
“Oh you’re a party pooper Li!”  
“Trust me, you’ll thank me in the morning.”

About half an hour later, you could definitely tell Luka and I had had way too much to drink. We made our way to the closest McDonalds and got a cheeseburger each. We found a bench and ate our burgers, Luka had rested her head on my shoulder as she ate. Once we were done, we caught an Uber and when it got to Luka’s place I kissed her softly and told her I would message her in the morning. She smiled as she shut the door and I watched her make her way into the apartment complex she lived in. 

When I finally got back to my place, I sent Luka a quick text message.

  
To: Luka Le Nevez  
Thanks for tonight Luka!  
I had the best time.  
Word of advice, have a bottle of water by your bed, a bucket and have two ibuprofens.  
You’ll thank me trust me!  
X Li.  


I took my own advice and got a bottle of water from my fridge, took two ibuprofens and went straight up to my room. I stripped off my jeans and shoes and finally my shirt. I brushed my teeth, then finally crawled into bed. Virtually as soon as my head hit the pillow I was fast asleep. I woke up a few times during the night thanks to the alcohol I had consumed but fell back to sleep each time. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> http://celebmix.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/our-favorite-23-liam-payne-outfits-04.jpg  
> Liam's outfit.


	7. Issues

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for self harm.

_I’ve got issues_  
You got ‘em too  
Give them all to me and I’ll give mine to you.  
**Issues; Julia Michaels**  


**Liam**  
For the next few weeks, Luka and I tried to spend at least two afternoons together during the week and either a Friday or Saturday night together. She was so easy to spend time with. We both had similar interests and we were just so comfortable with each other. It was now getting closer to the end of the term and Luka’s assessment was starting to pile up and you could tell she was getting stressed. She would be very emotional and would often get quite shaky. It was particularly noticeable at school.

It was a Saturday afternoon and we were sitting in my office at home and I was marking assessment and Luka was frantically trying to finish a Studies of Religion assignment on ethics. Every now and then when I looked over at her, I could see her getting more and more tense. She was sitting on the couch so I went over and sat next to her to see how her writing was going. She had written two pages but was still at least one thousand words off the word limit that had been set for her. 

“How is it going Luke?” I asked.  
“SOR is so pointless, where the hell am I going to use ethics in later life?” she replied frustrated.  
“Probably never unless you go into law. What are you thinking of doing next year anyway?” I asked.  
“I’m honestly not really sure. I was thinking journalism but then at the same time I was thinking maybe just a general Arts degree and explore a few different avenues or even Social Work. I feel like I’m the only person in my year who hasn’t decided what they want to do yet. I haven’t even put my VTAC preferences in yet.”  
“Don’t stress Luke, you don’t have to decide right away. Hell, you can even take a year off. It’s completely up to you babe. You really don’t need to worry about it.”  
“But you got into the degree you wanted to,” she sighed.  
“Not the first time around though, I had to go and do a bridging course because my marks weren’t good enough. Don’t get me wrong, your marks are really important because they open more doors for you but you don’t have to pick what you want to do straight away,” I smiled reassuringly.  
“I’m working my ass off Li. I’m hoping it gets me somewhere.”  
“You definitely are Luke,” I reassured her.

We talked for a little while longer, before Luka told me she had to go back to her assignment. I kissed her forehead and went back over to my desk and went back to my marking. After marking a few more assessments, I decided that I would take Luka out to do something. She had been doing her assignment all day and she needed to go and do something fun. It was starting to get dark and I figured we could go and see a movie and maybe have some fun at an arcade or something. 

“Luke, come on. Let’s go and do something. You’ve been staring at that screen all day. Let’s go and grab some dinner and see a movie or hang out at TimeZone in the city or something?” I encouraged.  
“Alright, that sounds like fun!” she replied, closing the lid of her laptop.  
“Sweet, let me get into something a bit better than running shorts and we’ll go!” I replied with a smile.

Once we were ready to go, we got an Uber into the city and found a little Irish pub. We found a booth and I ordered us a jug of beer to share. Sitting across from Luka it was hard not to stare at her. She was so beautiful. She had tied her blonde hair into a messy bun and was wearing a plain white t-shirt and a pair of jeans. She just looked so simple and beautiful. She didn’t need a face full of make up. Back home in Wolverhampton, the girls used to cake their faces with makeup from the time they were about twelve. Don’t get me wrong, if make up is done well it can look great but I prefer my girl to look beautiful naturally and Luka was stunning.

“Oi, what are you staring at?” she laughed, taking me out of my daze.  
“Nothing, just thinking how beautiful you are.”  
“Oh come off it Liam,” she replied with a chuckle before covering her face.  
I reached over and touched her arm to try and get her to move her hands.  
“Don’t hide Luke, I’m serious. You’re so naturally beautiful,” I complimented with a smile.  
“You’re exaggerating Li, but thank you.”  
“So, after dinner do you want to go and play at TimeZone?”  
“Sure! I used to love going there when I was a kid. I’m really good at the basketball machine.”  
“Oh it’s on baby! I think we should bet on it. If I win, you have to play one of your songs you’ve written for me. If you win…”  
“If I win, you have to cook me dinner.”  
“Trust me Luke, you don’t want me to cook dinner for you. I’m a horrible cook.”  
“All you’ve made so far is pasta Li and it’s impossible to ruin pasta. I’m sure if you follow a recipe you’ll be fine. I’ll even go easy on you with the meal I choose.”  
“Hey you haven’t even won yet. I might prove to be the victor, then you need to make the real decision about what you’re going to play me.”  
“Don’t be so cocky Payne.”  
“Right back at you Le Nevez,” I teased.

While we enjoyed our jug of beer and conversation, Luka pulled out her phone and I could tell by the look on her face the message wasn’t great.  
“Are you okay Luke?”  
“Yeah, it’s just Dad wanting to know where I am. I told him I’m out with you having dinner and I would be home later.”  
“Has your Dad said much about us?” I asked curiously. Her Dad hadn’t really been a topic of conversation since the night we went out for her birthday and to be honest, I was glad he hadn’t spoken about him.  
“We always have a bit of a tiff before I leave the house, he doesn’t think you’re a good influence but I tell him to get over himself. He just isn’t used to me not being around all the time. It’s been just the two of us ever since Mum died. Despite him being a drunken arsehole, he does care you know?” she retorted.  
“I never said he didn’t Luke. Maybe I should come to yours for dinner next weekend. Get to know your Dad better and maybe he’ll be able to see I’m serious about us.”  
“Sure, I’ll talk to him about it. That may just get you into the good books.”  
“Oh I’ll be in the good books; don’t you worry babe,” I winked reassuringly.  
Luka laughed.

We eventually decided to get dinner and another jug of beer. Once we finished both, we made our way to TimeZone, the games arcade about ten minutes from the pub. When we got there, I got us a game card with $50 loaded onto it. We made our way over to the basketball machines. I let Luka have a go first. The first few shots she missed and I had a laugh at her. She poked her tongue out at me and preceded to get the next twelve shots straight in which meant she got to do a second round, she got the first few shots then finally it was my turn.  
“Eighteen shots! Beat that Payne!”  
“Watch and learn princess. Watch and learn.”

So I ended up eating my words, Luka wiped my ass in the basketball game.  
“Best out of three?” I asked defeated.  
“Hell no Payne. A bet’s a bet. You have to cook me dinner.”  
“Fine,” I sighed jokingly. “You’ll regret it.”  
“I’m sure you’ll be a great cook Li.”  
“Let’s go play something else. Grab the tickets babe.”  
Luka took the tickets we had earnt from the machine and we made our way over to one of the dance machines.  
“Fancy a dance Luke?” I asked.  
“Sure! I have crap coordination but I’ll give it a go.”  
“That’s the spirit. You pick the song. Don’t worry I’m not a great dancer either.” I reassured her.  
Luka ended up picking some EDM number and the dance competition began. Luka was right, her co-ordination wasn’t fantastic. We both laughed as we had missteps and tried to distract the other. 

After a few more games, we decided to head back to my place and watch a movie. I let Luka pick while I got us a bowl of popcorn and a couple of drinks. She ended up picking the Dark Knight and the title menu was waiting on the screen.  
“This is one of my all time favourite movies Luke! I love anything Batman actually,” I exclaimed before taking a seat on the couch next to Luka.  
“Really? I’ve actually never watched it to be honest.”  
“What’s your all time favourite movie?” I asked as Luka moved to sit close to me and I put my arm around her and she looked up at me.  
“Dirty Dancing, my Nanna introduced me to it when I was fourteen.”  
“That must have been awkward,” I laughed.  
“Oh it was, but my Nanna is really easy going. She’s amazing.”  
“Your Dad’s Mum or?”  
“Mum’s Mum. I’ve hardly seen her since Mum died though. She lives in Griffith in New South Wales.”  
“Isn’t Griffith one of the drug capitals of Australia?”  
“Yep, but hey my immediate family isn’t involved in that,” she said. “But I can’t speak for my extended family.”  
“What is your family’s background? I’ve always wondered with a name like Le Nevez.”  
“Dad’s family is French, Mum was Italian/Australian.”  
“French and Italian, that’s a nice mix. Can you speak either?”  
“Dad tried to teach me French when I was younger but as I got older we got slack.”  
“Fair enough, I tried learning French when I was at school, but I had a hard enough time with the English language so I dropped it.”  
“Fair enough.”  
“Let’s watch this movie hey?” I said before pressing the play button. 

As the movie went on, we were eventually lying on the couch, Luka in front of me as the little spoon. I kept kissing her neck softly as the movie went on, making her giggle and look back occasionally to kiss me. At one point, our kissing got fairly intense, I was on top of Luka, kissing her with varying degrees of softness and roughness. My hand went down to the hem of her t-shirt and I pulled it up a bit, my fingers caressing her stomach, I could feel something on her skin that was raised. Luka tightened her stomach when I did this and I pulled away and sat up. The part of the t-shirt I had pulled up, revealed something I wasn’t quite expecting. Three scars, two healed and white but raised. And one that was red and raised. I looked at Luka sadly. I pulled the shirt up to just under her breasts and saw several more scars, some healed and some new. 

Luka looked away, embarrassed. I used my hand to get her to look at me.  
“When?” I asked.  
“On and off since Mum died.”  
“No, when did you last do it?” I asked.  
“I…”  
“Luke, I’m not mad. I just want to help and be there for you.”  
“Three days ago. Dad and I had had a fight. You were busy and I didn’t want to bother you.”  
“Oh my gorgeous Luka. If you EVER feel like doing that again, you call me straight away. I don’t care what I’m doing, I’ll always answer,” I replied before kissing her forehead. “Anywhere else?”  
“My… my thighs and my wrist but that's why I always wear a watch, to cover it. Please don’t tell Dad,” she said starting to cry. I pulled her up to sit and held her in my arms while she cried.  
“Luka, it’s okay. I know what it feels like to feel like you have no control. But please, this isn’t the answer. Talk to me okay? I’m always here for you.”

Self harm was something I knew from personal experience. All through primary school and high school I was bullied mercilessly by my classmates. I took up boxing as a way of defending myself and as a way to get my emotions out but sometimes it was just all too much. The top of my thighs has faded scars from when I used to self harm when I was seventeen and eighteen. There are times I’ve been tempted to slip back into old habits but I try and distract myself as best I can by exercising and losing myself in my music or work. 

I laid Luka down again, she looked at me confused, still sobbing. I moved her shirt up again and began to kiss each of her scars.  
“You are still beautiful Luka. These do not define you. Do you understand me?” I said looking up at her.  
“I…”  
“Do you understand me?” I said with a stern tone.  
Luka nodded. “I… I understand. Are you sure you aren’t mad Li?” her voice was shaking.  
“I promise I’m not mad at you Luke. What you are feeling isn’t your fault. We are going to work this through together. I just want you to know I think you are beautiful no matter what okay?”  
“Okay,” she replied before sitting up and wrapping her arms around me. 

I held Luka for what seemed like forever while she cried on my shoulder, I have to admit I cried too but I couldn’t let Luka see. Eventually she fell asleep, I carried her upstairs to my room and tucked her in. I had seen Luka put in the code for her phone so when I went back downstairs, I got her Dad’s number from her phone and put it into my own.

**To: Matt Le Nevez**  
Hi Matt, it’s Liam  
Luka has fallen asleep.  
I swear I’m sleeping on the couch.  
I’ll drop her home in the morning.  
Liam.  


Once I had sent the message to Matt, I cleaned up downstairs, turned the TV off. I went up to my room and went to my drawers to pull out a pair of boxer briefs and my Pyjama shorts. I went into the bathroom and got changed and brushed my teeth. I grabbed a spare blanket out of the linen cupboard and went down onto the couch.

In the middle of the night, I woke up to the sound of Luka yelling in her sleep. It took me a minute to figure out what was going on. Once I worked it out, I ran upstairs and saw her crying out in her sleep, she had tears going down her cheeks too. I turned on the bedside lamp and I gently shook her awake, sitting on the edge of the bed, talking to her quietly so I didn’t frighten her.

When she came to, Luka wrapped her arms around me.  
“You are okay baby. What’s wrong?” I asked.  
“N…nightmare,” she replied shakily. I could feel her hands shaking around my neck.  
“What happened? Do you want to talk about it?” I asked.  
She nodded her head against my shoulder. She moved away from me and I went over to the other side of the bed and sat next to her with my arm around her shoulder.  
“What was the nightmare about princess?” I asked worried.  
“You and I had a big fight. You caught me harming. You told me I was useless and a waste of space and a disappointment. Dad overheard and got mad at me too and the both of you wouldn’t leave me alone. You both just kept yelling at me. I wish you had never found out Li. I’m so scared.”  
“Luka I promise I would never be mad at you and I definitely won’t tell your Dad until you’re ready for him to know. I know it wasn’t easy for me to find out and it was the last thing you expected to happen today. But we are okay. I promise. I’ve got issues too, I’m definitely not perfect.”  
“Can you please stay here?” she asked softly.  
“Of course I can Luke, only if that’s okay with you.”  
“Yes please.”  
“Come on Princess, snuggle in. Turn out the light baby.”

Luke turned off the light once I was under the covers and had my arms wrapped around her. I sung Little Things softly into her ear as she dozed off. Soon enough she was breathing softly and was fast asleep. I kissed her cheek and began to fall asleep too, thinking about Luka and how to help her with everything she was going through.


End file.
